Folly #1: Assumptions
Nearly every time I make an assumption about a funder, I'm wrong.
On the subject of assumptions … I’m making one by sending you this. Our paths have crossed in philanthropy and friendship, and I thought this may be of interest (or at least give you a chuckle). I especially hope you’ll add your wisdom as a comment! If you’re not into it, unsubscribe below. Either way, I look forward to seeing you on this shared, imperfect journey of doing good.
I really love individual donor fundraising. There are few things nicer than hearing someone’s dream for social change and then helping them invest in making it a reality.
It can also be scary as hell.
I once worked with a donor who always answered the phone, “Oh Melanie, it’s you. What do you want??” Each time I had to psych myself up to call him. And call I did. Their interest was preserving landscapes where large predators that need space can roam. My job was to see if some project we had would inspire a large gift. So we met. A lot.
We met in his office. I met him and his wife at their house. We took them to see an open space project in Sonoma County for the conservation organization where I worked. We took them on a hike of a large landscape down in the Arroyo Seco between Salinas and Carmel. (That one even included a picnic lunch – checkered tablecloth and all!) They were traveling to another state, so I called my colleague there and he took them on another project tour.
Each time their answer was no. Nice project, but we don’t want public access. Beautiful site, but not quite right. We enjoyed it, but the ranchers there shoot the cattle-killing species we want to protect. Most people love open space but, to them, people and predators shouldn’t mix. But every “no” was also followed with a very nice donation along the lines of what they’d generously given before – $10,000 or $25,000.
After more meetings than I can count, and four project tours later, we did find the right project and they made a $250,000 gift. On that trip, in a remote corner of California, they invited me to their motel cabin for a glass of wine to celebrate. And so I finally asked. “Joe [not his real name], over these past two years you’ve become one of my favorite donors, and I know you’re a really nice guy. Why do you answer the phone so brusquely? It terrifies me.” He asked what I meant. And when I told him how it sounded and what I assumed, he said something I will never forget.
“Oh,” said Joe. “I was just trying to give you an opportunity to ask for what you wanted.”
Philanthropists are people just like us, and we’re often working towards the same end goal. But sometimes the assumptions we make get in the way of seeing the easy path forward.
Next week … Folly Take 2: Painful Grant Reports.
Ever made the wrong assumption with a funder? Share your story in Comments! (Friendly reminder: no naming or shaming.)